Their stories:

(Sage Kelly)

Sara Ashok

“I encountered the term ‘whitewashed’ when I started reaching out to more Indians within my community around middle school. A lot of Indian people would be more cultured than me, and they [would] take me down by saying that the things I wore [and] the way I acted was just not Indian enough. But that's not necessarily true. You just start assimilating with wherever you are. So if I'm in America, I'm probably going to assimilate to American culture. But that doesn't mean I'm less Indian. I just really felt bad about myself throughout middle school, and it was a really tough time. I grew up with my culture. I speak my language at home. I know I'm not really whitewashed, but it's not always a negative thing. It just means you're merging into the culture that you're brought into. I just want [people who have been called ‘whitewashed’] to understand that it's not your fault. I personally came from California, so it’s not easy to stay so intact with my roots. It happens to everyone, every person of color, when they start merging into other cultures. Just don't take it to heart,” junior Sara Ashok said.
(Sage Kelly)

Kamori Berry

“It really showed up to me in elementary school, especially when I would hang with my other Black friends. I don't really talk how a lot of them talk, so they'd be like, ‘Oh, you're whitewashed. Why do you sound white?’ When you meet all the rest of the Black kids, you [think you] finally found [your] people, and then they hear you and [ask], ‘Are you really like us?’ They question your Blackness depending on how you sound, not by your experiences. [Growing up in a predominantly white area], you kind of have to play a role to not seem like the ‘angry black woman.’ You have to know how to control a situation, to not get angry, to not be looked at as a stereotype. Sometimes, I forget myself because I'm so used to playing a role that it [becomes] hard for me to figure out which one is the true me. [In choir], we [sing] traditional African songs, like call [and response]. A lot of the white kids don't really understand the impact that it has. Right now, we're doing a song called ‘Keep Your Lamps,’ and they don't really know how to tap into [the] inner soul of it. I try to stay a little bit away from it because they ask a lot of questions, and then they make fun of the songs, so it sucks. [Being called ‘whitewashed’] hurts because it makes you question your identity. When you're younger, you're already going through a lot of identity crisis, and it sucks even more because you [think], ‘Am I too black? Am I acting too white?’ Honestly, if you're a victim of it, just know who you are and be true to yourself, and don't try to change for anybody else,” senior Kamori Berry said.
(Sage Kelly)

Rima Cidoni

“In school, I would hear [the word ‘whitewashed’] a lot, talking about other people. I think [growing up in a predominantly-white environment] has made me a lot more conscious and self-aware of the people around me and how I'm different [from] them. I would try to avoid anything that could be seen as a stereotype. When we would talk about culture in school, I would try to avoid conversations about my culture and celebrations and festivals. Now, I’m more open and more proud of my culture than I was. My friend group [has helped with that]; the people I'm around are a lot more diverse now than they were when I was trying to hide parts of myself. If you're being called whitewashed, it's important to remember that what other people think about you doesn't matter, and whether you are trying to intentionally hide your culture or not, you should be proud of who you are. You shouldn't let other people tell you whether you're doing enough to represent yourself because that's completely and totally up to you,” freshman Rima Cidoni said.
(Sage Kelly)

Ella Dao

“I was in sixth grade [when I heard the word ‘whitewashed’]. I didn’t know how to feel because my entire life I tried to fit into American culture, and I always wanted to be white — wanted to be American. When someone called me [‘whitewashed’], it made me feel so disconnected from my culture because [I’d] been trying to fit into the American standards, but [then] I [felt] like I [was] just too far off from my own culture. I didn’t really know what standards I would fit in [to]. It made me very insecure from a young age. When I was very young, I didn’t like my cultural foods. I tried to cover it up because I [only] hung out around white people, but when I tried hanging out with people [of] my culture, I felt disconnected from them too. They [were] more integrated with the culture, and I felt too whitewashed. I didn’t like my skin; I wanted to be different. Everyone else around me was white, and I was the only one [who] was different; they would always point it out, too. Don't [say ‘whitewashed’] so freely because you have no idea how much words can affect other people. If you're not a person of color, you haven't been in their shoes, so you don't know how people could take that [word]. It could be such a harmless term to you, but it can mean something for someone else,” freshman Ella Dao said.
Zhi Davis

“I first came across the term [whitewashed] when I was younger because [students] used to call my sister whitewashed because she was more educated, [and] she [was] gifted. When I’m here [at school], I feel like I can be myself, but when I go out back to the city where I work, people say I’m not black enough or I don't talk how I should. I’m from the south [in Texas], so being in this environment, sometimes I tend to hide my accent [around] certain people. When you're called whitewashed, just don't listen to them. Sometimes people call you whitewashed because you’re able to be open to different opportunities than [they are], and sometimes it’s better than their opportunities,” senior Zhi Davis said.
(Sage Kelly)

Raaga Golla

“Nowadays everybody dresses [in] a similar way — brands, like Lululemon, White Fox and UGG — and all of these brands have been used to describe a stereotypical ‘white, preppy girl.’ When you're a person of color and you decide to dress the same way, it leads to you [being] called whitewashed, whereas if a white person does the same thing, they're following a trend. Everyone jumps straight to the conclusion that you're just trying to get rid of your culture. As an Indian, a lot of the time, I face backlash from the Indian community because [often] you see Indian people being friends with just Indians, and I’m friends with Indian people and white people. From the perspective of a different Indian person, if they see me ‘wearing what white people wear,’ doing what white people do, it leads them to call me whitewashed. It makes me feel like less of a person because they're implying that I'm not in touch with my Indian culture, which I feel like I am,” sophomore Raaga Golla said.
(Sage Kelly)

Karthikashree Sivabalakannan

“The first time I encountered the word ‘whitewashed’ was in sixth grade, and I heard my friends calling [other people] whitewashed. A lot of people, when they come to America, [begin] assimilating, but they’re not doing it [with] the intent to discriminate [against] their own culture. My parents immigrated pretty close to when I was born, so I'm second-generation, but I have a lot of friends who are third-generation, and [the] term [‘whitewashed’] has made them [feel] disconnected [from] their culture. It's very harmful [because] it's creating the sense that you can either be American or ‘whitewashed,’ or be connected to your culture and excluded from the American experience. When really, a lot of people who immigrated or second-generation [people] stand in this limbo. I used to live in [an] apartment [complex], and it was majority-Indian, but when I’d go to school, it’d be majority-white. [At school], I’d still have aspects of my culture, but I would talk [and act] in a different way. It affected my attitude and my personality because after middle school, I blended those two together instead of separating them. In some [contexts], it's okay to describe [whitewashing], but [often] people say it with a lot of unknown prejudice. Instead of not using it or using it without knowledge, first educate yourself, and then know when to apply it and when not,” freshman Karthikashree Sivabalakannan said.
Trent Young

“I first encountered [the word ‘whitewashed’] in fourth grade. When I was [riding] the bus home, I was basically verbally attacked by a few students because ‘I didn't have enough Black friends,’ and so they would say things to me like, ‘you hang out with white people’ or ‘you talk to white [people]’ or ‘you think you're uppity and above everyone else.’ It affected me because it made me [think I was] less Black than some of my Black peers. I'm from the City [of St. Louis], so people already [think] we’re ‘ghetto,’ that ‘we don't talk with enough professionalism’ and that our vernacular is not all the way there. But of course, that's not true, so it just affected me negatively because it made me feel like I [was] too ‘whitewashed,’ [but] now I don't believe that about myself. There was a time [when] I was trying to appeal to certain members of the Black community who felt that I was whitewashed, and I would do things that would make me seem more ‘ghetto,’ just so I could fit in. Then I really had to self-evaluate and know that that was wrong, and I shouldn't, one, change myself for others and two, perpetuate that stereotype that [people] have on certain Black kids. Sometimes, some people grow up in different parts, and they may not talk with African American Vernacular or use Ebonics, and that doesn’t make them less Black than others,” junior Trent Young said.

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Limbo: the consequences of the word “whitewashed”

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