Fashion for the fatigued

A+student+models+purple+pants%2C+a+groutfit+and+dressing+like+an+evergreen+tree.+

Zafar Rehmani

A student models purple pants, a groutfit and dressing like an evergreen tree.

“I’m so fancy,” said no sleep-deprived person ever. Dressing up takes motivation, time and energy, unfamiliar concepts to the procrastinators among us. However, now that we have learned how to deal with those issues, act the part, ace our classes, use our minds to their full potential and continue our individual paths towards nirvana without interruptions of sleep, we must try a little harder to look the part. 

It is no secret that everyone can rock bags below their eyes–Gucci, Chanel, Prada–whatever brand they may be. In color, there is not as much variety. Depending on the accumulation of sleepless nights, you will probably have a purple-blue-veiny-green mixture. We need not cover these bags of exhaustion and shy away from our truest forms. Embrace it. In fact, style your outfit to display a complete look. 

Now is the time for some matching clothes. Be bold. Bring back purple jeans. Unapologetically rock a groutfit. Dress like an evergreen tree. The options are endless when transforming a melancholic ‘fit to compliment the saucy hues of your sleepy under eyes.

As far as tops go, the key is to keep it simple. Especially for those particular classrooms that transport us to Antarctica on the daily, hoodies are both practical and comfortable, and no other style of clothing can trump the design of both hood and sleeves. Perfection. Crewnecks work (almost) as well. 

However, in this, we do not want to look unpolished, unintelligent or God forbid, lazy. As such, it is essential that these hoodies represent a college, preferably an Ivy League. One with the name of an Ivy League university’s state is also acceptable; any other location is discouraged. When you walk into the hallway, before anyone meets your eyes, they meet you the location written upon your hoodie. Do you really want to communicate to everyone in the building that you are not ivy-material? 

It’s all in the layers: jackets, hoodies, Snuggies™, fleeces, coats, mufflers, hats and gloves alike. Colors are everything, neutrals are out. If you cannot have a vibrant personality due to extreme exhaustion and the fact that daylight only lasts five minutes these days, fake it till…well just fake it forever, using these accessories! Do not undermine the importance of a coat with multiple zippers and secret pockets, hot pink gloves and most importantly, any sort of fringe muffler.

Shoes are where we can get a little wild. If you pull an all-nighter and want to prove you are still doing better than ever, wear white Air Force 1’s. If you are still new to the sleepless life, could not access caffeine and wish to reflect the darkness of your room you wish you still inhabited, sport some Birkenstocks. If you do not have Air Force 1’s or Birkenstocks, I’m sorry but you have violated school dress code so please report to the nurse’s office and await further instructions.

With regards to dressing, the to do–or rather not to do–is holistically simple. The only remaining piece is you. Remember your priorities; clothing is inherently materialistic, but sleep will always be for the weak.