The new face of Pfizer

We’ve emerged from a cruel Missouri summer into cardigan season, and Pfizer is urging everyone to do “two things at once:” get a COVID-19 booster vaccine and a flu shot at the same time. Perhaps taking an invisible string of inspiration from Cooper Tires’ Uncle Cooper, they’ve debuted a new spokesman: Mr. Pfizer. That’s the nickname Jets quarterback and noted antihero Aaron Rodgers gave to mustachioed Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce.

“I thought [the Mr. Pfizer nickname] was funny. Nick Wright on [Fox Sports One] was talking about how the people who pay Aaron Rodgers are heirs to the Johnson and Johnson [pharmaceutical] fortune. I think it’s very hypocritical,” English teacher Casey Holland said.

In the Pfizer spot, Kelce contemplates other ways to do two things at once, such as grilling on a lawn mower, bench-pressing a reporter, podcasting on a hot-air balloon, catching passes at a buffet, and winning a pair of Super Bowl rings: basically every possible combination except dating Taylor Swift and playing for the Chiefs at the same time. Kelce’s susceptibility to the Taylor Swift Fever sweeping the nation and his repeated exposure to the viral smash may raise questions about his effectiveness as an antiviral spokesman. However, some see the highly contagious fever as an advantage for Pfizer. After Swift’s first appearance at one of Kelce’s games, search interest in Pfizer among those exposed to the ad increased beyond their wildest dreams.

“I think [the Kelce ad will be effective,] especially with the amount of celebrity that he’s gained over the past several months because of somebody named Swift. People are Googling him more and looking into him more,” English teacher Casey Holland said.

Whatever Kelce’s influence might be on his own, it’s unlikely he ever reaches his girlfriend’s level of influence. No one is asking if the Chiefs TE could flip an election like Swift potentially could. (There is room for concern that we trust Taylor Swift with our presidency, though in terms of trustworthiness, it’s worth noting that most Americans harbor concerns about the Presidential frontrunners and most Americans are fans of Swift.)

Should you do two things at once?

Vaccines and immunizations are generally useful and safe ways to protect yourself and others. COVID-19 vaccines are effective at preventing contraction of the virus; while they may have some moderate to severe side effects, those effects feel like blank space in comparison to those that occur due to contracting COVID-19. I wanted to interview the school nurse for vaccination advice, but it turns out she’s busy doing actual medical work and not low-quality medical reporting. Imagine. I settled for a pre-med student, who was incredibly helpful.

“[I don’t know] if pre-meds are qualified to give medical advice that relates to vaccinations. Check the CDC,” Parkway West alum and pre-med student Rachel Bhagat said.

The CDC recommends that those who have not had a bivalent COVID-19 vaccine – the original vaccines were monovalent, targeting only one strain of the virus – should receive one. Meanwhile, flu shots are estimated to have saved 6,300 lives in the 2019-2020 flu season, which is the most recent season with “normal” data: quarantines and lockdowns in the forthcoming years altered the results. Getting these shots will protect yourself and your community. For those planning to get both a COVID-19 vaccine and a flu shot, doing two things at once can be an effective option. 

Getting both shots at the same time may bring slightly lower rates of antibodies and slightly higher chance of reaction than the COVID-19 shot alone, but the difference is very small and it’s often far more convenient to get both shots at the same time. Therefore, “two things at once” is recommended by the CDC. As evinced by the “Two Things at Once” ad’s closing shot of Kelce’s bicep, it is safe to get both shots in the same arm. Remember to prioritize advice from personal physicians over medical advice given by the Parkway West Pathfinder. 

As for the epidemic of Taylor Swift fever, no proven vaccine has been produced yet, though rumors have circulated that Rodgers plans to endorse the homeopathic cure of listening to “Bad Blood” on repeat for precisely 13 hours. (Due to concerns about its painful side effects and a lack of effectiveness against later, more potent strains of fever like the “folklore” era, this cure is not endorsed by the CDC and should not be tried. Seriously, don’t do this to yourself. Nobody wants to experience that kind of pain.)

Where to get two things at once

West High is hosting a flu clinic on November 19th, but the COVID-19 vaccine is not offered there. Vaccines.gov offers a way to easily search for locations with flu and COVID-19 shots. The CVS on Clayton Road near Parkway West offers both vaccines.