First Floor

Cafeteria: The “Hot Stuff”

Some people like this water fountain, and some don’t. I think the water is warm and weird, but if you’re thirsty during lunch, it’ll do the job. The placement of this fountain also contributes to its underuse, given that it is in a neglected corner of the cafeteria. Most kids wandering that way are more interested in the mile-long nacho line than the mediocre water. 

Choir Hallway: The Decommissioned

This sad little guy has been broken for a while; poor music and science students have to walk all the way to the locker rooms if they’re thirsty. Before it broke, this fountain was probably the only non-water bottle filler fountain still used, but for now, make sure to quench your thirst before you get to a first-floor class. Feel better soon; we need you! 

Athletic Hallway: The Heavy Lifter

Hands down, the athletic hallway’s fountain gives the best, coldest and crispest water in the entire school. This one plays “hard to get” due to location, given that it is a good two-minute walk from any given point in the school. Some students even think of this water as a special treat they only get once in a while when they’re in the area, as they should. Other fountains should treat this water as a role model for how good it is; it’s definitely carrying the gold standard right now.

Second Floor

Math Breezeway: The Old-Timers

These breezeway fountains are so old, I don’t even know if they work. They think the other “young whippersnappers” are futuristic and that students should go back to the old ways of drinking water. Needless to say, students do not seem to agree with them. Perhaps it’s their age or their proximity to the bathrooms, but I have never seen anyone attempt to drink from these fountains. 

Main and North Gym: The Lovebirds

These two fountains are facing each other! Separate but always together, they obviously care about nothing else because they are both pretty outdated. The water seems fine, but no students use these fountains due to their age. They don’t seem to mind though; they only have eyes for each other.

Library Hallway: The Wallflower

This fountain is so lonely, and sadly there is nothing it can do about it. The water at this fountain makes it one of the better fountains, but no one ever uses it because of its location. Although it is close to the front entrance, that front foyer has no real classes, so no students usually pass the fountain on their way to class. Poor guy. 

Third Floor

Art Hallway: The Abominable

There is nothing good to be said about this water fountain. No student knows why this fountain has a green spout, and it leaks. This one should just be decommissioned or replaced because this location between two major wings would make a good water fountain very useful. 

Main Hallway: The Strong and Reliable

This is probably the most used fountain in the school, and it is definitely reliable. It’s not the best, but most students settle with it because it’s on the way to their next class. The major use of this fountain ensures that it’s kept in good shape, but sometimes, the filter can get old too quickly when it gets used too much. However, there are pros and cons to every decision, and students need to take that into account before they hydrate.