We’re Really Clef-er: the (terrible) pop playlist


Maddie Schoessel

Sophomore Justin Cupps listens to the collection of 2000s hits.

With it’s dying breath, the year 2016 brought us the atrocity of a playlist of entirely pop music. However, we decided we had to cover all genres of music which sadly includes this.

This playlist features hit songs from the past decade and a half ranging from early 2000’s hits such as “Wannabe” or “Pocketful of Sunshine,” to more modern hits such as “TiK ToK” or “Applause.” Regardless of the time it came from, listening to these songs almost drove me to tears.

‘Why do you hate pop music so much?’ the unsuspecting reader asks. Well, there are numerous reasons that can be compiled into three major categories. First, listening to it is mind-numbing. There is not one top 40’s hit that is not in four/four time and goes outside of the basic I, II, iii, V and vi chord structures (explanation of that music theory here), and is very limited in melodic structure because of it. In essence, it all sounds the same. Second, the lyrics are all meaningless. All pertain to sex, drugs and rock n’ roll, except no rock n’ roll since this is pop. While songs such as “Milkshake” or “Hollaback Girl” lyrically make zero sense at times, “E.T.” by Katy Perry feat. Kanye West took the cake with Kanye’s second verse comparing an alien bar on Mars to smoking weed and having intercourse.

The last category is a culmination of both previous categories: all pop music is simply too easy to digest; there is nothing to it. You listen, think ‘That’s nice,’ and nothing more. The lyrics have no higher meaning, the music is in no way complex or intricate or interesting at all; pop music is something that can be listened to once through and be done with it forever because you have comprehended all that it has tried to convey.

So if you enjoy mindlessly listening to the same five chords over and over spanned over 15 years, this playlist is for you. If you agreed with what I had to say, comment below or tweet at me @justincPWESTPUB. If you think I’m dead wrong and love the atrocity called pop music, then angrily comment below or tweet at me too.