Education is an important part of forming opinions. Before learning how gender and sexual orientations are different and comparing them, let’s look at them separately.

“Gender orientation relates to who you are and your emotional connection to your identity, not the way or state you were born,” junior and co-leader of Gender Sexuality Alliance (GSA) Club Juniper (Bella) Neisius said. 

Genderism is a belief that gender is composed of two distinct and opposite genders, women and men, in which there is no overlap. Now, we know that’s not the case. Scientist Cade Hildreth explains that gender can’t be binary because it is a socially structured, personal identity. In other words, there are people that exist between the female and male gender identities, and there are not only two genders. Although in the past, society has believed in the concept that there are two genders, our world is constantly changing, and people are constantly changing too. Someone can also go through many labels when finding a sense of self-identity. 

And although I have tried to provide definitions above to help increase understanding of different genders and sexualities, there are no strict borders on what classifies as what. What is important to know is these titles are chosen by each specific person. For example, the difference between bi and pansexual is nuanced and could be purely based on which title the person feels the most comfortable using. 

Gender is a broad term that relates to everyone on a spectrum and embodies each and every individual person and how they act in society. Meanwhile, sexual orientation is based on what type of sexual attraction someone feels towards another person, and romantic orientation is based on what type of romantic attraction someone feels.

One junior identifies as aromantic and asexual but wishes to remain anonymous. She explains the difference between sexual and romantic attraction as the words themselves. Sexual attraction is how you sexually feel toward someone, while romantic attraction is how you feel romantically towards someone. Someone who is asexual may still have romantic relationships or ‘crushes,’ and someone who is aromantic may still have sexual relationships.

“[As someone who identifies as pansexual,] I don’t like a person based on their gender but based on how we interact. I don’t feel more attracted to one gender over another,” Neisius said. “[I like someone] for who they are and who they identify as.”

Teachers in Parkway have had training on different terms that relate to the LGBTQ+ community. Principal Dr. Jeremy Mitchell also reports that the district has enacted new procedures to help students of all minorities feel safe. 

Hildreth confirmed that both gender orientation and sexual orientation exist as a spectrum. Scientists in neuroscience, reproductive science and biology have confirmed this belief.  

“This should not be a place where you have to worry about some outside influence. We want every student to walk around the halls, get a good education and enjoy themselves. School isn’t always fun but we also don’t want students to feel like they can’t be themselves,” Mitchell said. 

Pronouns relate closely to gender orientation because normally pronouns coordinate with the gender you identify as. For example, Neisius identifies as non-binary which means they don’t always choose a specific gender, so they use they/them pronouns. However, this may not always be based on gender, sometimes pronouns can be based on how an individual feels in a certain environment. 

“I don’t feel like a female or a male, I feel like I am in just between. That’s why there are multiple genders,” Neisius said.

Because non-binary or gender-fluid people do not identify within a rigid definition of gender, some days they may feel more like a male, and others they may feel like a female, or they may feel anywhere in between. 

On the other hand, sophomore and co-leader of GSA Club Caitlyn Allendorph is cis-gendered and uses she/her pronouns. Some people in the LGBTQ+ community identify as cis-gendered, which means they identify the same gender as their birth gender, they can use varying pronouns.

Believe it or not, people still say “that’s so gay.” Even if it is just a saying, these little phrases can negatively affect someone in the LGBTQ+ community. There are many ways to help and hurt the community. The way you phrase your sentences and the tone in which you say your words are vitally important to this community. 

Starting with genders, do not make assumptions. One of the ‘jokes’ that spread through our middle school classrooms directly impacted people of the LGBTQ community. Asking someone if they were assuming your gender produced little giggles throughout our seventh and eighth-grade classrooms, but this is a serious thing. Do not assume genders of peers, if you are unsure of someone’s pronouns, you should find a way to respectfully ask them which pronouns they use. 

When referring to someone’s pronouns, what you say can be hurtful to members of the LGBTQ+ community. For example, while interviewing and researching for this article, I would ask people what their preferred pronouns are for the purpose of the article. I quickly figured out that what I said was incorrect. A lot of people refer to a change in pronouns as “preferred pronouns,” and this can be considered as a microaggression because of the implication that the ‘preferred pronouns’ aren’t the ‘correct’ pronouns. When I was saying ‘preferred pronouns,’ I wasn’t purposely trying to sound passive-aggressive, I was just trying to communicate in a language I didn’t fully understand. 

Someone may use different pronouns. For example, someone who is non-binary or gender fluid may use he/they pronouns. Normally, this means they are interchangeable, but it could also mean some days they feel more masculine and some days they feel more neutral on the gender spectrum. They can identify using different pronouns on different days, months, or across a span of years. Normally, during these pronoun changes, the person would tell you. However, if someone were to change their pronouns, it can be exhausting to tell each person they come across that they are changing their pronouns, so when communicating with someone who is non-binary or gender fluid, a way to ease that communication would be to every once and a while just ask them what pronouns they are currently using. 

It is also important to remember that the use of pronouns can also be based on how comfortable a person is in a specific setting or around certain people, so it is also important to ask when you can use specific pronouns. When people disclose their pronouns to you, it can be a good deal to them and you don’t want to use specific pronouns around people they may not feel comfortable with. 

People in the LGBTQ+ community aren’t asking you to be perfect. If you mess up on a name or pronoun, just apologize and correct yourself. If you are unsure, ask what they prefer. The common theme is respect. 

Getting ready for school, Gillies decided to wear a shirt that says: “Error: gender not found.” He said that he got weird looks and rude comments about the shirt. Gillies even felt like they needed to wear a hoodie over the shirt in the hallway. The bottom line is facial expressions can be microaggressions as well. 

“The discrimination sucks because there’s no reason for it,” Gillies said. “Just because people don’t like things that are different doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be respectful.” 

Only 20 states have laws against bullying on the grounds of sexual orientation and gender identity, and Missouri isn’t one of them. This provides space for exclusion and discrimination against LGBTQ students. This means we need to work extra hard to support them socially because of the lack of legal support across the country.

Even if you are not a part of the LGBTQ+ community, there are many things you can do to help support them. Teachers can visually and physically show support to the LGBTQ+ community through signs or posters in your classroom, and address class expectations that could surround the LGBTQ+ community. Use inclusive words. For example, say “everyone” instead of “ladies and gentlemen” when addressing a group. This helps to better include the gender fluid, agender and non-binary students in the school. 

Another way that teachers specifically can help people in the LGBTQ+ community is by making a simple Google form. 

For three years now, Theater teacher Amie Gossett created a Google form for students to fill out at the beginning of each semester. On the form, Gossett asks her students for their pronouns, name(s) and when the different scenarios that it is okay to use. Gossett also includes a question at the end which asks students if they want to have any further discussion about gender or pronouns, and when it is okay to use specific pronouns. 

“I wanted to make sure students knew that if they wanted to use specific pronouns in the classroom that they are safe to do so,” Gossett said. “This helps me relate to them and be able to represent how they identify because I think that is most important in the classroom. I want them to be as comfortable as possible here. I want to take that uneasiness off the table. My thing is everyone is accepted, so why not make students as comfortable as possible.”