“SUN GOES DOWN” by Lil Nas X

Lil Nas X both figuratively and literally gave birth to his first studio album, Montero, Sept. 17. But months before the album’s full reveal, the artist released the lead single: “Montero (Call Me by Your Name)”. What followed was a divisive uproar from both fans and critics and even a trademark infringement lawsuit from Nike over the artists’ “Satan Shoes” marketing scheme. In the wake of this controversy, May 21, Lil Nas X released Montero’s second single, “Sun Goes Down”.

Admittedly, I enjoy all of Lil Nas X’s songs. My sister and I freely blast his discography on loop from our car speakers – from “Old Town Road,” which brings back fond memories of claustrophobic middle school hallways, to “Industry Baby.” But what sets “Sun Goes Down” apart is just how deeply vulnerable and grounded in reality it is. 

“I know we promised to never come out publicly, I know we promised never to be ‘that’ type of gay person, I know we promised to die with the secret, but this will open doors for many other queer people to simply exist,” Lil Nas X, who publicly came out in 2019, said in a tweet anticipating his album’s release. 

In “Old Town Road,” he pretends to be something he’s not: straight. He sings empty, albeit catchy lines, that seem to describe a very stereotypically masculine and very heterosexual cowboy. Futhermore, while several of Montero’s songs show Lil Nas X’s reality and struggles with his gay identity and Christianity, he still paints it in a fantastical or futuristic picture. For example, in the music video of “Montero (Call Me by Your Name),” the rapper is seen in many biblically-inspired scenes, even dancing with Satan.

“Sun Goes Down” is different. In the music video, Lil Nas X revisits various eras from his life. He sees himself working hopelessly at Taco Bell, secretly running a Nicki Minaj fan Twitter account, and painfully alone at his senior prom, crying in a bathroom. In this video, he is no longer singer and rapper sensation Lil Nas X, he is purely and excruciatingly himself: Montero Lamar Hill.

In this song, Lil Nas X sings about being picked on for his darker skin and large lips. He describes how the only place he felt truly accepted was online, among strangers. Above all, he beautifully emits the sensation of being alone in a bustling crowd. Through these raw anecdotes, I can feel his insecurity and scarring loneliness. 

“But it’s much more to life than dying over your past mistakes and people who threw dirt on your name,” Lil Nas X sings. Throughout his whole song, although he is constantly on the edge of giving it all up, even praying to God to take away his gay thoughts, he weaves a thread of hope. At the end of the music video, an older Lil Nas X guides his high school self back into the prom crowd, where he dances and radiantly smiles.

“You see this is very scary for me, people will be angry, they will say I’m pushing an agenda. But the truth is, I am. The agenda to make people stay the f*** out of other people’s lives and stop dictating who they should be,” Lil Nas X said.