Tony Morse

Posing in front of the transgender and gay flag, freshman Leslie Seay wears their “they/them” hat.

Freshman Leslie Seay is a girl, boy, both, and none at the same time. In other words, Seay is genderfluid, a gender identification where the individual feels as though their gender is constantly changing.

“When I was a girl there was times where I really wanted to be a boy, and be really boyish. So I came out as transgender, and identified as Scott. I liked being a boy. But at the same time, I still wanted to be a girl every once in awhile, so now in high school I identify as genderfluid. This is definitely who I am, and I doubt I will ever change,” Seay said.

Although Seay did not come out until high school, they have been feeling this way since elementary school.

“I knew something was up in elementary school, I knew with my sexuality and my gender, something was wrong. I was comfortable with being a girl, every once in awhile. I wasn’t really having too much gender dysphoria, but then as soon as middle school rolled around, I started to get uncomfortable,” Seay said. “And so that’s when I started changing my gender, coming to the conclusion that I was genderfluid.”

That is when Seay began to come out and tell their peers, friends and family members who they really were.

“I was in the car with my dad and brought up starting testosterone or hormone blockers. I explained that I didn’t really want to be on those, that I didn’t really feel like that would be right for me. That’s when I told him how I had been feeling—that I don’t identify as female, but I don’t really want to just identify as male. He was like ‘that makes sense.’ Then I told my mom too, and she said the same thing. And of course my little brother was supportive. He’s always supportive of me.”

Seay expresses themself through their clothing, wearing a binder or through their perfume or cologne. Seay believes their biggest struggle is finding a place to use the bathroom.

“I don’t use any bathroom. I’m very uncomfortable going into the bathroom no matter what bathroom it is. I’ll usually use the nurse’s office because as far as I’m concerned it doesn’t have a gender, but otherwise I just hold it until I get home,” Seay said. “If I went into the boys bathroom then I’d probably get beat up, and I hate going to the girls bathroom—that’s just not me. And so the nurses office is just kind of the healthy middle. But at the same time I don’t like going there because it’s all the way across the school.”

Seay also struggles with people and relationships. They identify as bisexual but since they are genderfluid, a lot of issues come into play.

“I don’t date. No one wants to date me because of my gender. Everyone’s really confused,” Seay said. “I’m okay with it, but some days I’m really bummed out because so many people are so happy in a relationship or inviting me on a double date. I don’t have anyone to bring. It’s just really sucky. Otherwise my dating life is nonexistent,”

Seay also faces peer criticism on occasion.

“Cisgender people don’t have to worry about people bullying them about their gender, worry about what bathroom to go in or wonder if they’re going to get beat up when they go to the bathroom. I hate that I have to deal with all that,” Seay said. “I wish people would just ask questions and try to be understanding and not write me off as some attention hog. This is who I am, I’m not trying to cause a scene.”

Though there are struggles, Seay has developed a healthy friend base.

“I’ve met some pretty cool people who I call my friends, I would not have met them if I wasn’t genderfluid, and I’m really grateful for that,” Seay said. “I always know they’re going to be there for me so whenever I’m having a bad day or something bad happens there’s always someone who’s gonna be there to listen and support. I’ve gained a community.”